Here’s another page that took us a little bit to get it to where we wanted it. The script went through a couple of changes – both of which had a bunch of dialogue in the cafeteria scene. MK edited it down, but then when I got around to drawing it, I thought it was really  important to set up an establishing shot of the scene, so I cut out the superfluous dialogue except for the girls from the French class talking because it was important to see how everyone sees Jael.

Anyhow, here’s the original script MK wrote for panel 5:


Neil enters the cafeteria with his lunch (a brown bag) looking for a place to sit. It’s teen chaos.

Cluster #1

Girl from French class: Ask anyone from Carmichael, she’s completely insane. One time in art class, she bit Dan Chester’s hand, and he totally had to get a shot for rabies and stuff.

Other Girl in French Class: It should be like illegal for her to be here. She should be on those pills for spastic kids.

Cluster #2

Scummy boy metalhead: No way is Hammersmith better than Woodlock!

Kid from Neil’s shop class: “Face Your Demon” is the shreddingest album of the year! Woodlock’s for chumps.

(Woodlock is Liz’s & my straightedge hardcore band.)

Cluster #3

Girl: Did you see him? He’s sooooo cute!

Girl #2: What, him? Ew, maybe from a distance.

- – -

And then on the drawing end, I couldn’t get the first tier to flow right. This is what I had originally:

The staging just didn’t work well. It’s confusing to see Jael exit the panel right, watch the teacher look left to watch her leave, and then to have Neil look right to watch the same thing happening. In the final version we went with, you lose seeing the teacher’s expression, but it’s a small price to pay for clarity.

All right. On Friday, Jason and I have a special blog post planned that we’ve had brewing for awhile, and we’re pretty stoked to be able to share it. BE THERE!